A small exercise in gratitude

And keep on trucking!

As I embarrassingly scraped the cracked remnants of my half dozen eggs off the cold tiled floor under the unyielding glare of the clerks (no exchange policy FTW) at Canggu Deli, Bali, I felt pretty down. Small things like this can add up during travel. The mind seems to always need things to dwell on.

On the walk back to the apartment, I switched gears and started playing a game I like to call, “Complete the following: I am effing _______!!!”

-in Bali, Indonesia!!!
-surfing like a doggone n00b!!!
-on the effing internet!!!
-getting cash from a machine by shoving in a plastic card!!! And it works!!!
-using another plastic card to swipe for groceries!!! And it works yet again!!!
-using an effing kitchen to fire up a ribeye steak dinner!!! What what!?
-listening to a climbing podcast, Enormocast!!!
-walking around barefoot!!!
-wearing a skirt!!! (Refer back to “how to rock a skirt” entry and don’t look at me funny)
-reading from a rectangular device that holds over 300 books!!!
-writing blog posts on an effing cell phone!!!

Anyway, I could continue adding to this list of “mundane” miracles. I haven’t even mentioned the more substantial things like being thankful for health and loved ones, but you guys all know that 🙂

Cheers to the underappreciated little things.

PS read this awesome article that hits closer to home, literally.

Just put yourself out there

In an episode of This American Life, a guy reported success in applying a “good guy discount” on his purchases. It goes “Hey, can you give me a good guy discount on these shoes? I mean, you’re a good guy, I’m a good guy, so can we work something out here?”
I haven’t acquired the linguistic flair to pull this off during my travels, but I’ve been able to get benefits using other playful means.

Show interest
I was thirsty for tea in Hanoi one night and saw that a tour office had hot water going. I went in, inquired about tours and enjoyed a couple cups. I learned more about the country, planned out travel routes, and I gave them hope that they’d sell me a tour. Everyone was happy (OK, maybe they weren’t that thrilled when I didn’t put down any dong, which is their fun currency name, not a euphemism for anything :).

Parlay
I’ve traveled slowly and have been able to eat at restaurants or stay at guest houses for multiple days at a time. By establishing a track record and some rapport, I’ve usually been able to express genuine gratitude for their services and receive great recommendations on additional things. For example, in Hoi An I went to the same lovely restaurant for multiple meals and the owner gave me recommendations on good beach spots and helped ask for discounts at a hotel for me.

Make a sincere effort
It literally pays to invest the energy to learn the language. At a Bangkok street food vendor, I rehearsed and delivered “how much does this cost?” Now having just learned the number system, I excitedly counted aloud on my fingers (nueng, saang, saam,..) trying to figure out what she just demanded. Then when I correctly gave her 80 baht she returned me 5! Effort = 5 baht saving! High five!

In our travels it’s easy to look and feel like walking dollar signs, especially in the tourist-dense areas. Instead of resigning to that status, I’ve found that it pays off to become likeable. Take the effort to make a human connection. You never know what you’ll get.

How I pack

I wouldn’t consider myself experienced in international travel. I simply never wished I had packed more.

Bags
My backpack is a day pack from an REI garage sale that I picked up 5 years ago for $5. I think its capacity is 18L. In addition I have a stuff sack (thanks Fred!) that serves as my expansion pack (latches on with 2 carabiners, thanks Colleen!) e.g. for dirty laundry.

Clothes
Muji zip up bag – all my clothes are rolled up and stuffed in here. In all I brought:
3 pairs of underwear
3 pairs of socks
2 t-shirts
3 long sleeve shirts
1 athletic pant
1 all purpose pant
1 raincoat
1 light down jacket
1 pair of flip flops
1 pair of running shoes
1 pair of trekking shoes

My sleep gear of an inflatable pillow, silk liner and eye mask all fit in here too.

Electronics
Phone – Samsung galaxy nexus
Camera – canon point and shoot (thanks, Winnie!)
OTG cable and SD card readers – so my camera and phone can interact
iPhone – music from my youth
Sunglasses
Chargers
Batteries
International power adapter
Headlamp

First aid – basic pain and scrape treatment

Water filter – trying not to buy too many plastic bottles during this trip

Toiletries – dental and soap/shampoo

Other
Multitool
Can opener
Insect repellent
Ointments
Vitamins
Ear plugs
Rope (hang clothes, thanks Stanford postdocs!)
Spare toothbrush

Additional stuff
Tissue paper roll
Kindle
Notebook

Since almost everything I have has its redundancies, I could afford to lose more stuff. But as is, volume wise I carry about a third of what most other travelers seem to haul, and walking around with everything is comfortable enough. Not a terrible setup for exploring Southeast Asia.

Letter to Mom

This is a followup to my previous point about telling parents about travel, which in hindsight was overly simplistic. My mother, who lives alone in Taiwan, recently panicked about my travel plans, and I wrote this passage to better explain myself. I hope this is informative to others who may find themselves in similar situations.

媽，我在越南很安全。
關於我的旅行計劃，請妳不要擔心。我之所以之前沒有跟妳講得很完整是因為我知道只會讓妳擔心。
我打算利用這整年的時間環遊東南亞。為了這一趟的計劃我花了兩年的時間去做準備。為了教書，做義工，我去了尼泊爾。在越南還有很多東西要學，要做。
以現在美國的就業環境來說，僅僅一個Stanford博士不稀奇。這一趟旅行會增加我的就業機會。我幾個在大公司人事部工作的朋友都說我的旅途經驗會讓我鶴立雞群，更容易拿到面試機會。
我的朋友當中對事業，對人生很滿意的非常少。我會用這一段時間仔細思考我的人生方向。
我了解我們的價值觀可能不太一樣。妳跟爸提供給我們很好的成長環境，我現在正好好的把握。
我也思考過我們的家庭。14年前爸離開家，改變了我們這一家的方向。我知道妳這幾十年來很辛苦，一個人在台灣。我們家庭的問題從來都不提，沒有互相好好溝通，沒有機會去看待這一件事情。我在利用這一段時間好好思考我要怎麼過人生，未來怎麼顧好自己的家庭。
請妳不要擔心，我金錢方面都很好，我自從離開台灣，努力賺錢了12年。我一旦回到美國開始賺錢也會送錢回去給妳。
我知道妳擔心因為妳愛我。我也愛妳。我們這一家都從來不說這一句話，但我知道這是事實。妳跟爸讓我們很獨立的成長。請妳要有信心，我會有責任感的過日子，然後把我的人生過得很有意義，對社會有貢獻。

Mom, I’m safe here in Vietnam.

With respect to my travel plans, please do not worry. I didn’t explain myself very clearly before because I knew it would just make you worry.

I plan to travel throughout Southeast Asia for the remainder of this year. I spent the last two years planning this trip. For teaching and volunteering, I went to Nepal. In Vietnam, there are many more things for me to learn and do.

The work environment in the States now is such that a PhD from Stanford is not rare. This trip will increase my job opportunities. My friends at large companies have said that this experience will make me stand out among the crowd and help me get a foot in the door.

Among my friends, there are few that are truly satisfied with their lives. I want to use this time to carefully consider how I want to live my life.

I know that our values may not be the same. You and Dad provided us a great environment to develop, and now I’m taking full advantage of it.

I also thought deeply about our family. Fourteen years ago Dad left and changed the the direction of our family. I know that it’s been a difficult past decade for you living alone in Taiwan. Our family never brings up these issues. We never communicate, and we’ve never given ourselves time to heal. I will use this time to think about how I want to lead my life and how I would want to raise a family.
Please don’t worry about me financially. Ever since I left Taiwan, I worked hard to earn my own money these past 12 years. Once I’m back in the States earning a paycheck, I’ll send money back to you too.

I know that you’re worried because you love me. I love you, too. Our family never says these words, but I know it’s true. You and Dad gave us room to grow up independently. Please have faith in me. I will do my best to live responsibly and meaningfully and contribute to society.

How to tell your parents you’re traveling

Short answer: Just tell them.

 

1. Be crystal clear internally why you’re doing it. Don’t simply be running away from something, or even many things. Be honest with yourself and have a firm reason.
2. Fund everything yourself. Make it so you don’t owe them financially. Besides, it makes your travel all the more liberating. Of course, you probably owe them a heck of a lot. For one my parents gave me an education and, most importantly, gifted me an environment to gain independence of thought. But, please, try to separate duty vs. what you want to do with your life. Really define your responsibilities and set those boundaries.
3. Every parent is different. It’s worth considering your audience, but this isn’t some professional pitch. I argue that the delivery should just be the same, regardless of the parent. For my dad, I succinctly stated that I’m traveling for months. To his credit, he didn’t question. For my mom, I also just stated it (rather, fumbled my way through it) and endured a barrage of spitfire. That’s ok too. Asserting independence is part of life. Some would argue, like Thoreau, and a whole slew of modern writers , that it’s everything. In the same vein, recognize how much of a momma’s boy you are. It’ll be rare for a protective mom to be 100% in on your plans. Moderate her expectations.
4. Fix in your brain the losses you will incur if you don’t go. That was a big one for me. I absolutely knew I would regret it for the rest of my life had I chickened out. I’m serious. If I didn’t do this for myself, a part of my brain would have atrophied. I wasn’t about to let that happen. This is my time. So here I am.