Personalize your tour

by rc

We’ve all been on subpar tour packages. We’ve been unwillingly taken to businesses and ended up paying more than the sticker price (What? The cable car/coffee/jeep aren’t included?). So when you’ve had the last straw, you exclaim, “Screw it. I’m doing it my own way!”

To instantly awesomify your next tour, (and by “you” I mean “me”)

Prep
1. Identify the objective.
Oh, the tour office has a hike that would cost $25. You think, “I could do that on my own…”
2. Figure our how to get there.
A detailed Trip Advisor posting on the Lang Biang mountain hike is 2 years old. They say to use bus #5 from Dalat. You cross reference with the restaurant and hotel. Nope, there ain’t no bus #5. Use “Lac Duong.” Um, can you write that down? And where exactly is the bus stop? The posting also says it’s difficult to find the hiker’s trail when you get there but helpfully posts pictures of the correct turns. You take some vital screenshots.
3. Stock up.
Ritz bits with cheese. Gummy worms.

Approach
1. When in doubt, ask. Don’t be a man.
2. Accept mistakes, many of them. You are winging it in a foreign country after all.

Top left: Screenshot of correct turn onto hiker's trail. Bottom: Waiting for the bus with motorcycle riders preying on passengers. Top right: Near collision with excavator.

Execute
1. Bus costs 20% more than expected.
2. Bus almost collides with heavy machinery.
3. Bus conductor helpfully points out return bus schedule.
4. No map at trailhead.
5. You can’t find the hiker’s trail and end up using the road where jeeps make you eat their nasty exhaust.
6. A Trip Advisor reviewer: “With 2 small children we messed around and took many breaks on our way up and it took 40 min to reach the top.” You take 3 hours.
7. You meet nice hikers who share reconnaissance info and offer to stick with you since you’re solo. “Naw, I got this.”
8. You make it to the 2000+m summit! Great city views.
9. As you descend you ask a ranger how to take the hiker’s trail. She helpfully points you in the right direction.
10. You see horses painted like zebras!?
11. Downpour on the way back. Luckily you’re on the bus already.
12. You celebrate with a fantastic cup of Americano in the “Swiss Alps of Vietnam.”

Top: You can take pictures of these "zebras" with Vietnamese cowboys and cowgirls. Go figure. Middle: At the top! Bottom: Walking through the pine trees on the elusive hiker's trail

Overall
Personalized touring = instant adventure.