Letter to Mom

by rc

This is a followup to my previous point about telling parents about travel, which in hindsight was overly simplistic. My mother, who lives alone in Taiwan, recently panicked about my travel plans, and I wrote this passage to better explain myself. I hope this is informative to others who may find themselves in similar situations.

媽，我在越南很安全。
關於我的旅行計劃，請妳不要擔心。我之所以之前沒有跟妳講得很完整是因為我知道只會讓妳擔心。
我打算利用這整年的時間環遊東南亞。為了這一趟的計劃我花了兩年的時間去做準備。為了教書，做義工，我去了尼泊爾。在越南還有很多東西要學，要做。
以現在美國的就業環境來說，僅僅一個Stanford博士不稀奇。這一趟旅行會增加我的就業機會。我幾個在大公司人事部工作的朋友都說我的旅途經驗會讓我鶴立雞群，更容易拿到面試機會。
我的朋友當中對事業，對人生很滿意的非常少。我會用這一段時間仔細思考我的人生方向。
我了解我們的價值觀可能不太一樣。妳跟爸提供給我們很好的成長環境，我現在正好好的把握。
我也思考過我們的家庭。14年前爸離開家，改變了我們這一家的方向。我知道妳這幾十年來很辛苦，一個人在台灣。我們家庭的問題從來都不提，沒有互相好好溝通，沒有機會去看待這一件事情。我在利用這一段時間好好思考我要怎麼過人生，未來怎麼顧好自己的家庭。
請妳不要擔心，我金錢方面都很好，我自從離開台灣，努力賺錢了12年。我一旦回到美國開始賺錢也會送錢回去給妳。
我知道妳擔心因為妳愛我。我也愛妳。我們這一家都從來不說這一句話，但我知道這是事實。妳跟爸讓我們很獨立的成長。請妳要有信心，我會有責任感的過日子，然後把我的人生過得很有意義，對社會有貢獻。

Mom, I’m safe here in Vietnam.

With respect to my travel plans, please do not worry. I didn’t explain myself very clearly before because I knew it would just make you worry.

I plan to travel throughout Southeast Asia for the remainder of this year. I spent the last two years planning this trip. For teaching and volunteering, I went to Nepal. In Vietnam, there are many more things for me to learn and do.

The work environment in the States now is such that a PhD from Stanford is not rare. This trip will increase my job opportunities. My friends at large companies have said that this experience will make me stand out among the crowd and help me get a foot in the door.

Among my friends, there are few that are truly satisfied with their lives. I want to use this time to carefully consider how I want to live my life.

I know that our values may not be the same. You and Dad provided us a great environment to develop, and now I’m taking full advantage of it.

I also thought deeply about our family. Fourteen years ago Dad left and changed the the direction of our family. I know that it’s been a difficult past decade for you living alone in Taiwan. Our family never brings up these issues. We never communicate, and we’ve never given ourselves time to heal. I will use this time to think about how I want to lead my life and how I would want to raise a family.
Please don’t worry about me financially. Ever since I left Taiwan, I worked hard to earn my own money these past 12 years. Once I’m back in the States earning a paycheck, I’ll send money back to you too.

I know that you’re worried because you love me. I love you, too. Our family never says these words, but I know it’s true. You and Dad gave us room to grow up independently. Please have faith in me. I will do my best to live responsibly and meaningfully and contribute to society.